*RIOT is on air as Maven and Fowler5 are having a King vs. WOTY bout*
*After dominating the match since the start and having hit Fowler5 with multiple spears, Maven decides to go for a pin. Despite Fowler5’s dishonourable attempts of tampering with the referee’s physical well-being, the arbitrator gets up in time to do the three count and proclaim Maven as winner of the bout*
*The crowd boos as Maven gets up and asks for a microphone*
Maven: Tranquilize yourselves, little dunces. Soon you will regret not giving me the treatment I deserve as savior of iTNA, and you will miss these moments of peak human athleticism and intellect that I always deliver to you.
What you see here is the man you wrongly voted as “Wrestler of the Year”, lying helpless on the canvas after having been humiliated in another one of my phenomenal performances.
This is just another feat in a string of accomplishments that I have delivered since returning to this circus less than a year ago. King of iTNA, World Cup winner, #1 stable of 2020 together with my comrades (based on objective and quantifiable criteria, not the voting of ignoramus who cheer for pakindian and drug addicts), World Tag Team Champion once again… all of that in less than an orbit, only to name a few....
And most importantly, I achieved what I intended with my return: position my comrades Tamjuk and TLKiller990 for success, seeing them win the iTNA title as I did in 2014 (and never lost, parenthetically). I am proud of this majestic feat and of my comrades, who have brought the iTNA title to levels of prestige never seen before.
While I am proud of my comrades and appreciative of their company, I cannot pronounce the same words about the inane creatures I have to observe every time I pass by the peasants’ locker room backstage. Men with the intellect of a solanum tuberosum, substance addicts, southern asian individuals with poor taste, and other horrors.
It is for that reason that when I contemplate the fact that (a) me continuing to elevate iTNA requires to coexist with such subhumans, and (b) the fact that there is no further room to elevate iTNA since I have achieved it all, I conclude that (c) all the roads lead the decision of me departing from this bazaar you call iTNA.
Fear not, you simpletons, for this is not a permanent farewell. I shall return when iTNA is able to offer me a challenge that merits me gifting you with my skills. In the meantime, I shall dedicate my time to other ventures that are able to entertain my intellect.
*Maven drops the mic and raises the royal scepter as his theme song plays*
