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iTNA Anarchy Results for September 14 2009
iTNA Anarchy 14/09/2009
From Tokyo, Japan
Announcers: Ric_Flair and Shaggy


- iTNA Anarchy theme song hit the arena as we switch on the announcer's table.

* Announcer Table Segment *

Ric_Flair: Welcome ladies and gents to another episode of iTNA Anarchy!

Shaggy: Yes and we got a busy night tonight :D

Ric_Flair: Oh do we? *Winks*

Shaggy: Naaaaw.. not that...

Ric_Flair: :>

Shaggy: Tonight, Piele will return in the iTNA ring under the name of Hernandez, facing Daniel MI in a First Blood matchup.

Ric_Flair: Exciting, and the #1 Contender will go 1on1 in a non-title match against the current reigning iTNA HeavyWeight Champion, {RKO} and the CruiserWeight championship will be disputed tonight between the fallen God of War, Kratos against the champion Jeff Hardy.

Shaggy: Can't wait to see the matches :D

Ric_Flair: Yeah, and i can't wait to get you in bed :>

Shaggy: ...

* End of Announcer Table Segment *

Light Tube 1on1 Opening Show Matchup
CM Punk def. Vegeta
Match Rating: **

Regular 1on1 Matchup
Shaun Swagger def. Lynx
Match Rating: **

Ladder 1on1 Matchup for the iTNA CruiserWeight Championship


Kratos def. Jeff Hardy
Match Rating: ***
[New Champion]

* Special Segment *

- Some time before the show...

- {RKO} is at the DX HQ chatting with Keiji Mutoh online trying to set him up. {RKO} is the special "To Catch a Whale Predator" decoy.

Keiji Mutoh: Herro! Me is Keiji, what iz yor nem?

Decoy: hi! I'm Ashley!

Keiji: Herro Ashley, me is excited to talk witha yu

Decoy: lol

Keiji Mutoh: Are u virgin?

Decoy: yes lol

Keiji Mutoh: ohh... me like virgin, me one too

Decoy: cool

Keiji Mutoh: yes! me japanesa, me got very small penis, is that ok?

Decoy: i guess lol

Keiji Mutoh: ohhh me so horny, me want to lick ur pussya

Decoy: then come over :)

Keiji Mutoh: Ohhh. me cuming right now.

- Keiji Mutoh goes to Ashley's house after wanking 10 times in a row.

Queen Ino: Hey! Glad u can make it! come on in!

Keiji Mutoh: Oh... ok.. u are bigger than i thought.. :-S

Queen Ino: Are you saying im FAT?

Keiji Mutoh: nonono. u beatufiul for meh. me so hornyyy

Queen Ino: ok come on in, here grab a cookie and some lemonade while i go upstairs to change into something sexy :D

Keiji Mutoh: Ok-ah!

- Mankind comes in.

Mankind: Hello! Hows it going? are you enjoying the cookie?

Keiji Mutoh: Whoa? Who are you? me not horny, me not horny, me sweara

Mankind: ok ok fella, why dont you sit right over there.

Keiji Mutoh: umm ok.. Keiji is scared :(

Mankind: You don't have to be scared. What were you planing to do here keiji?

Keiji Mutoh: Nothing, me just visiting internet friend

Mankind: Why did you bring that razor blade and the condoms? were u planing on shaving our decoy on her back? and having sexual intercourse with her?

Keiji Mutoh: nonono, i wouldnt do that!

Mankind: do you know, that having sexual intercourse with a whale is prohibited and you could get in jail for that?

Keiji Mutoh: Me dont know , prease me dont want jail, prease me japanesa.. we got small... small.. penis :( prease... :(.

Mankind: Well you are free to exit this room whenever you want fella.

Keiji Mutoh: ok ok, keiji is sorrwy.

- As Keiji tries to escape, DX members attack him and spray DX on him.

- Mankind grabs Keiji by the neck telling him:

Mankind: Keiji, YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D!

* End of Special Segment *

First Blood 1on1 Matchup
Daniel MI def. Hernandez
Match Rating: ****

Hardcore 1on1 Non-Title Matchup
WilloW def. Chris Daniels (c)
Match Rating: **

Semi Main-Event
Hardcore TagTeam Non-Title Matchup
LuX 'N' TuX Connection (c) def. D-Generation X (Shawn Michaels & Lynx)
Match Rating: **[/b]

* In-Ring Segment *

- Charlton J makes his way to the ring with a knife in his hand.

Charlton J: IT'S OVER PEOPLE. I'M GONNA KILL MY COCKINO ASS! No one likes me anymore and all the girls tell me to get a shirt but i dont afford! I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE AND IM GONNA KILL MYSELF RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW!

- As Charlton J lifts the knife to stab himself, Sarah's theme song hits the arena and interrupts the suicidal mad maltese.

Sarah_Ng: CJ! You idiot, don't do that!

Charlton J: Oh yes i will!

Sarah_Ng: Listen, if you dont kill yourself i promise i'll give you my biggest dildo.

Charlton J: NO! You are too tight to have big dildos and i need huge dildos not asian size dildos! So no, i will just kill myself.

- Sarah Ng gets her cell and calls someone.

- Sarah Ng on the phone... "Yes! Yes! ok, i need that thing you promised me hun, Yes!.. ok .. YES! .. thanks. ok bye!"

Sarah_Ng: CHARLTONJ! DONT KILL YOURSELF, i just called Queen Ino and she said she'll give you her biggest dildo, and imagine how her biggest dildo looks since she is a big ass whale, huh? :> what you say bud?

Charlton J: My life is full again! YES! Thank you SARAH!

- CJ leave the ring happy and fullfilled

* End of In-Ring Segment *

Regular 1on1 Non-Title Matchup
{RKO} (c) def. Jericho via forfeit
Match Rating: 0
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New iTNA Champion AND King of iTNA - CAPTAIN CHARISMA. Congrats

New X-Division Champion - Dirk!

We are paramore!

It a pal right!

It sherb and pals

The new RefBot is on. Join us on discord @ https://discord.gg

Ah... at last, the resurrection is upon us! We're here!

Sarah, where the fuck are you... go on skype you whore.

Expect me.

Omg its edge!! Shock

Hi Sarah_Ng !

Victory Road is after the next set of cards! Smile


...its sarah..


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