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iTNA Havoc Results for August 28 2009
iTNA Havoc 28/08/09
From Bell Center in Montréal, Québec, Canada
Announcers: Mike and NEBAR


The opening Havoc! video plays and fireworks go off as Mike and "Good Ol" NEBAR welcomes everyone to another boners edition of iTNA Havoc!

* Opening Segment *

Mike: My name is Mike and welcome to another edition of iTNA Havoc live from Freedom-IRC!!!

NEBAR: Hi, I'm NEBAR, and this year I'm gonna be voting for both Ice and Queen_Ino for tranny of the year.

Mike: ...You only can vote once.

NEBAR: ...We'll see about that.

Mike: ... Tonight ladies and gentlemen we have 2 huge championships matchup for you. In the Main Event, United-States Champion, H0LLYWOOD will face Jason_Voorhees.

NEBAR: This is a huge match Mike. In one corner we have the defending United-States Champion who is at the top of his game and in the other corner we have the pink killer Jason_Voorhees.

Mike: And in the Semi Main Event. X-Division Champion, Greek316 will defend his title against Queen_Ino.

NEBAR: Another interesting matchup Mike. It's the battle of the drag queens.

Mike: Indeed. General Manager JohnCena is ordering a Beat the Clock contest here tonight.

* End of the Opening Segment *

Beat the Clock Hardcore Matchup
Suicide def. Triple H
Match Rating: **

Beat the Clock Hardcore Matchup
Jason Voorhees def. Suicide
Match Rating: **

*Backstage Segment*

Undertaker: Where is it, you filthy Jew?!

ShawnMichaels: Where's what?

Undertaker: You know goddamn well, what!

ShawnMichaels: Let go of me!

{RKO}: What the hell are you doing, Taker?

Undertaker: I went home to alter the picture of me with Queen Ino's penis in my mouth to look like Shawn, but it was gone! What did you do with my picture?!

ShawnMichaels: Knock it off, I don't have your stupid picture.

Undertaker: Give it back, Shawn.

ShawnMichaels: I don't have it!

Undertaker: I swear to God, Shawn, if you don't give it back right now, I'm gonna break your <censor>ing Jew legs right here

ShawnMichaels: Shut up.

Undertaker: You shut up! You're lying, and you two are covering up for him. You know what-you're just like Jews yourselves! {RKO}, you're a Jew, and Triple H, you're a Jew. You're all Jews!

(Shawn Michaels lightly hits Undertaker)

Undertaker: Ow dawg! Ow nigga! Owwww!!!

(Undertaker runs away, crying)

*End of the Backstage Segment*

Beat the Clock Hardcore Matchup
Suicide def. Greek316
Match Rating: **

Beat the Clock Hardcore Matchup
Suicide def. Matt Hardy
Match Rating: **

*Backstage Segment*

Angeleyez: Joining me at this time. He is Havoc Janitor, Mr. Ino! Hi Mr. Ino, do you like your job so far?

Mr. Ino: Yeah.. I guess.. 6 dollar an hour is a lot..

Angeleyez: It sure is.. You know.. If you want.. i could give you extra dollar....

Mr. Ino: You could?

Angeleyez: Hmm.. I sure could Mr. Ino...

(Angeleyez & Mr. Ino are having sex)

Angeleyez: Oh yeah! Yeah, I'm a monkey! Give this monkey what you own!

Mr. Ino: Oh Angeleyez!

Angeleyez: Oh yeah! Pound my monkey-hole Mr. Ino! Yeah, I'm a monkey alright!

*End of the Backstage Segment*

Beat the Clock Hardcore Matchup
Queen Ino def. Suicide
Match Rating: ***

Beat the Clock Hardcore Matchup
Shawn Michaels def. Suicide
Match Rating: ***

Hardcore 2on1 Matchup
LuX 'N' TuX def. Sarah_Ng
Match Rating: ****

*Backstage Segment*

Scott the Dick: Listen up everyone, Queen Ino is about to walk in. When she comes in, everyone say "hello fatso!"

^^DX^^: I don't think that's a good idea sir.

Scott the Dick: You do what i told you and you shut the <censor> up paki.. here she comes!

(Queen Ino walks in the locker room)

Everyone: Hello fatso!!

Queen Ino: Hmph! What the hell is that! you think that's <censor>ing funny Shawn? Did you make everyone say that? I bet you did!

Scott the Dick: Now you just got pwnt <censor>.

(Scott the Dick looks at Queen Ino and laughs at her)

*End of the Backstage Segment*

Strap Matchup for the X-Division Title


Queen_Ino def. Greek316 (c)
Match Rating: ****

Hardcore Matchup for the United-States Title


Jason_Voorhees def. H0LLYWOOD (c)
Match Rating: ****

Edited by edge on 30.08.2009
Anarchy General Manager
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