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iTNA Havoc Results for August 24 2009
edge
iTNA Havoc 19/08/09
From Bell Center in Montréal, Québec, Canada
Announcers: Mike and NEBAR


i41.tinypic.com/bbhpi.png


The opening Havoc! video plays and fireworks go off as Mike and "Good Ol" NEBAR welcomes everyone to another boners edition of iTNA Havoc!

* Opening Segment *

Mike: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to another edition of iTNA Havoc live from Freedom-IRC!!!

NEBAR: iTNA Havoc is the ONLY show on Freedom-IRC to have porn stars in it .-.

Mike: Porn Stars?

NEBAR: Angeleyez and Queen_Ino brah.. They do dirty stuff late night on pay per view.. You never saw the movie Dyker? It's motor fat chicks .-.

Mike: ... Former Heavyweight Champion, Sarah_NG is cashing-in her rematch clause... in a HELL IN A CELL MATCHUP TONIGHT.

NEBAR: Holy Smoked Meat Mike!!! By the way, is it me or a smoked meat sandwich really look like a vagina? Never noticed that?

Mike: ... We also have #1 contenderships matchup for tonight. H0LLYWOOD will face Fowler5 in a #1 contendership matchup at the World title and Jason Voorhees will face Matt Hardy in a #1 contendership matchup at the United-States title.

NEBAR: I swear it looks like a vagina

Scott the Dick makes his way to the ring and grabs a microphone.

Scott the Dick: Shut up peeypol. I hate you all. So now, the inevitable question: if terrorists didn't cause 9/11, who did? (begins to use his fingers to show the numbers as he says them) Remember that there are in fact two towers. Two minus one is one; one one - 11; two minus one is one; one one, and there are nine members on Silverstein's board of directors. That's nine-one-one. Nine-eleven. And take 2 - 1 + 9/11 and you get 12, which leads us all to the mastermind of the 9/11 attacks.. HBK!

Scott the Dick: Twelve contains the numbers one and two, just like CT's mom mouth yesterday where somebody went number two instead of number one! And one and two with 911 and you get 914! Drop the 4 and it's 91! Exactly the score HBK got in his Main Event match with Jewser twelve days after 9/11! Who has the most to gain from 9/11?! HBK! Who was nowhere to be found the morning the towers fell?! HBK! Who dropped the deuce in CT's mom mouth?! HBK! But probably the most damning of all is the evidence seen in this photo of Tower 2! (points the titantron, and another shot of the Twin Towers is shown) When I zoomed in I saw what first appeared to be a blur, (zooms in on the picture, which just becomes pixilated) but when I computer-enhanced it, (the pixilation disappears as the picture sharpens - it's a drawing of an evil HBK with a large, sharp knife in his right hand) You almost got away with it, you sneaky butt hole.

NEBAR: I KNEW IT!!!

Mike: Retards...

* End of the Opening Segment *



Best of 3 Tag Team Opening Show Matchup for the Tag Team Championships.

i41.tinypic.com/v5jo10.png

D-Generation X (HBK & {RKO}) def. The Beautiful People (Jason_Voorhees & Edge) (c)
Match Rating: ****



Lumber Jack Matchup
LuX def. Triple H
Match Rating: ***




* Backstage Segment *

- JohnCena talks to the Havoc roster

JohnCena: This is Mr. Ino, havoc janitor. He's the person who has to clean up when some trickster drops a dook in CT's mom mouth. Mr. Ino makes six bucks an hour at best. He's got three kids at home, he's got a car that barely works, he's gotta clean up puke with saw dust. Then he walks in CT's mom room and sees a big meaty chud staring him in the face. So when you crapped in that mouth, you might has well have just dropped your pants and laid a turd right on Mr. Ino's head. One of you thought it'd be funny to drop your pants, and drop a nice mud monkey in CT's mom mouth.

* End of the Backstage Segment *



Barbed Wire 1on1 Matchup for #1 contendership to the US title
Jason_Voorhees def. Matt Hardy via Forfeit
Match Rating: 0 star


Regular 1on1 Matchup for #1 contendership to the World title
H0LLYWOOD def. Fowler5 via Forfeit
Match Rating: 0 star




* Backstage Segment *

Angeleyez: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! It's me.. The <censor> Machine. And joining me at this time Greek316

Greek316: WTF

Angeleyez: WTF indeed. Did you know i was greek myself.. And if you want you could take me from.. BEHIND!

Greek316: Hmmmm... let's see... I could do it.. but... i'll have to drink ALOT and smoke ALOT before i could touch you

Angeleyez: Ohhhh dirty talks.. I LIKE IT ALOT.. LET ME SMOKE YOUR CIGAR BABY

Greek316: WTF???

Angeleyez: Oh that turns me on baby. I'm a tiger and you are a baby gazelle.. raaawrrrrr.. let me smoke your dick baby oh yeeeeahhhhhhhhhhh! LETS HAVE BABIES

Greek316 starts running for his life

Angeleyez: NoOoOooOoOOoOOoOoOOo! WAIT! WAIIITTTTT!!!

* End of the Backstage Segment *



Ultimate X Matchup for the X-Division Title

i40.tinypic.com/2zxqmmq.png

Greek316 def. HBK
Match Rating: ****




* Backstage Segment *

Backstage GM JohnCena is shown doing some paperwork when he receives a call from Undertaker.

JohnCena: Hello?

undertaker: WHAT WHAT, UR MAMAS HAWT I <censor> HER ALOT I SMOKE POT I <censor>ED UR SISTER IN A BABYS COT ME AND UR DAD LINKED COCKS LIKE A CHAIN LOCK ME AND UR ANTY ROCK I <censor>ED UR SISTER IN A DOCKI I HATE DOCS U KNOCKED UR GONNA GET MOCKED AND UR DADDY GONNA GET SHOT

JohnCena: Are you serious?

undertaker: Yo dawg was it good nigga? Are you going to sponsor my rap career now?

JohnCena: No, i am not. You are a terrible rapper. I could do a better rap than you anytime you ginger freak.

undertaker: nigga plz are you challenging me white boy to a rap battle over the phone nigga

JohnCena: Yes i am challenging you over the phone ginger *laughs*

undertaker: YO YO YO IM THE UNDERTAKER I AINT NO FAKER IM THE PLAY MAKER UR GAYER THAN A GAY MAN MAYOR UR DOIN TO FAVOURS IM A PLAYER UR A LEAF RAKER I <censor>ED UR SUSTER THEM IMA WAKE HER ITS A BLUR I USE UR MUM AS COAT FUR I ASKED UR BROTHER FOR A BJ HE SAID YES SIR YO MAMAS A <censor> THATS FOR SURE I LIKE TO LURE IS THAT THE CURE? STFU YOU AINT PURE I <censor>ED UR SISTER IN AN ALLEY WAY THAT AINT GAY THAT MADE MY DAY WTF U SAY? I <censor>ED UR ANTY IN MAY SHE PAY I <censor>ED HER SO HARD HER HAIR GRAY I CUMMED ON UR MEAT TRAY OH WAY GO EAT SOME SPECIAL KAY I <censor>ED UR SISTER IN HAY AND ON A BAE UR DADDYS NAME IS RAY AND HES GAY

JohnCena: Aight aight chill chill chill.. if thats ya best attempt to end me, like tired porn stars..you should prolly come harder.. for starters I'm too sick to even be scheduled for departure.. i'm to type to run up in timbos, stop a <censor> then pull my brim-low.. and my bars will have niggas ducking like we was playin limbo.. its simple, and by your spit now, I'm sure your wack.. and I said I was AIDs, faggot, aint no cure for that.. ask the iTNATION...that shits been announced I gets respect from all.. so sit back and take a number...theres a line to ride my balls.. I'm beatin these pussies, like i was <censor>in Mariah.. my shit is fya, you couldnt hold one bar I supply ya.. dont try bra

undertaker's to cry over the phone and hang out

* End of the Backstage Segment *



Main-Event: Hell in a Cell Matchup for the World Heavyweight Title

i38.photobucket.com/albums/e119/Sherby_idZ/3876456.jpg

Sarah NG def. Queen Ino (c)
Match Rating: ****

Edited by Insidious on 28.08.2009
Anarchy General Manager
 
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Sherby
09.11.2019
New iTNA Champion AND King of iTNA - CAPTAIN CHARISMA. Congrats

Sherby
12.08.2019
New X-Division Champion - Dirk!

paramore
09.07.2019
We are paramore!

Sherby
30.06.2019
It a pal right!

Dark_One
30.06.2019
It sherb and pals

Sherby
30.06.2019
The new RefBot is on. Join us on discord @ https://discord.gg
/BjZ8zP7

Sherby
17.06.2019
Ah... at last, the resurrection is upon us! We're here!

TaylorSwift
13.10.2016
Sarah, where the fuck are you... go on skype you whore.

Cm_PuNk
13.10.2016
Expect me.

Sarah_Ng
11.10.2016
Omg its edge!! Shock

edge
07.10.2016
Hi Sarah_Ng !

Ice
19.09.2016
Victory Road is after the next set of cards! Smile

Sarah_Ng
18.09.2016
Huh

XavierSupreme
11.09.2016
...its sarah..

Sarah_Ng
04.09.2016
Wink

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